Chapter 152

Scott woke up in the middle of the night to go to the bathroom, lulling Mitch back to sleep before doing so. Scott made it to the bathroom, did what he needed to do, and then got halfway down the hall before he noticed something wrong. He stopped and walked down the hall to see what was the matter. Avi was sitting on the couch with his head in his hands, and Scott decided against just leaving him there. Scott slowly sat down next to him, putting a hand on his back. "Avi, it's two in the morning. What are you doing?" Avi just shook his head, refusing to look up. Scott ran his hand up and down his superior's back, not wanting to push it if Avi didn't want to talk about it. After about two minutes, Avi took a deep breath and leaned back into the couch, meeting Scott's eyes. "It's just amazing to me. These people... They're so amazing, even after everything they've been through. I mean, me? Sure, I had a past as bad as everyone else did. But I'm a mess. I.. I command everyone around, and I'm a jerk to the people I love... But they're just.. God, I don't even know." Scott nodded slowly, understanding. "They're not perfect either, Alpha. And they also weren't handed as much responsibility as you were." Avi shrugged and looked away, Scott's hand finally finding it's way back to it's owner. Avi shook his head again. "I guess I just.. Wish I could be better, you know? I can't keep blaming my crazy parents for my short temper." Scott nodded again. "Well, what can you do? I mean, all Alphas have a little bit of a temper. It's just who you are." "I just.." Avi sighed. "I don't know. As awful as it sounds... Maybe I would feel better if Mitchell still flinched whenever people came near him. If Kirstin still visited James' grave.. And cried every time his name was mentioned. Maybe I'd be happier if your parents came to visit, and just yelled at you the whole time." Scott squinted at him, confused. But Avi continued. "Just so that I'd know that I'm not the only one who isn't okay. Just so I'm not suffering alone. We've all been through some shit, but you all are such amazing people now. You've learned from your experiences, and you've grown. I don't have that. I'm just as rude as I was when I was still living with my parents." Scott 'tsk'ed. "Aw, Avi. That's not true. Come on." Avi just looked at him sadly. Scott sat back in his seat and opened his arms towards Avi. Avi was clearly fighting with himself and his ego, but eventually crawled over and leaned on Scott's shoulder. Scott wrapped his arms around the shorter Alpha. "Don't say that. You're worse than me, getting all down on yourself. You've got a much more stressful life than the rest of us. Sure, Mitch's was pretty bad. But it didn't last forever. Sure, my parents hated me. But I got away from them. But what you're struggling with, not knowing how powerful to be without hurting people... That's a daily battle." Avi nodded and let himself burrow into Scott's warmth. Scott smiled at the strong Alpha being so compliant. "You're a good Alpha, Av. You really are. You just get in your head about things. I do it too. I've said it before, and I'll say it again. You can always come to me if you need help." Avi looked up at him. "No I can't. I'm supposed to take care of you." "You can't just.. Protect everyone else, and forget about yourself. Remember the fun little path we went down when you forced me to be an Omega? That was so I could learn to take care of myself. But it seems to me, like you have the same problem." Scott said with a hint of irony in his voice. Avi pushed himself away. "You are not going to put me through that." Scott chuckled and grabbed Avi's body to hug him again. "I'm not. I'm just saying... You treat me like I'm your worst enemy, because I'm a threat to your position or whatever. But I'm the only person in this whole pack who could possibly understand what you're going through." Avi sighed, and tucked himself away again. "You push me away, but Avi. I'm all you've got." Avi shook his head, and the lengthy silence made Scott think Avi had fallen asleep. Just when Scott thought the conversation was over, Avi spoke up again. "Thank you, Rookie. Jesus, thank you." Scott squeezed him a little tighter. "You're welcome." Scott stood up and picked Avi up bridal style. Avi was uncomfortable, and the hatred he had for this position was evident on his face. But Scott carried him down the hall, regardless. "You don't have to be strong all the time, you know. You've got a pretty tough pack to lean back on." "I know..." Scott set him down on his bed, Kirstie immediately shifting towards him, still completely asleep. Scott kissed Avi's forehead. "We're not all healed yet. You know Mitch still bites his nails when he's nervous. Kevin still gets really upset when people are mean to each other. I still don't like anyone's parents. Kirstie still got all teared up talking about James. We're all still struggling too." And then he left, before Avi could come up with a response. ********