Chapter 2 A Childhood Of Hate And Loneliness

Eliana’s POV Eight years later… From a very young age, I knew love was a delicate thing, brittle to the point that one might expect it would not happen again. The pack never spoke of Luna Elise in my presence, but I could tell that every cold glance was directed at me, every whispered curse I had been given by them when they thought I was not listening. I was the reason she was dead. The reason Alpha Justin, the man who took me in, hated me. He never said it outright, but his hatred did not need words: it was in his silence, in the shadow of his eye that barely grazed me, the way he sought to ensure I was well cared for, but no more than that. I had the food, clothing, and roof over my head. Warmth, care, and a place in his heart? No! To the pack, I was an outsider. A burden. A mistake that was supposed to have died in the forest the night they found me. I spent my childhood trying to prove them wrong. I trained harder than any wolf in the pack, although I was not even a real member. I ran the errands without questioning, helped wherever I could, and did every single thing within my reach to be seen as something other than a shadow looming in their halls, but then again, for every little thing I managed to do, it never seemed to be enough for them. “She is not one of us." “A cursed child." “She should have died with the rogues." Their words carved into my skin like claws; but the worst of it always emanated from Justin himself. I was not his daughter. I was not even his concern. He made that clear every time I reached for approval, every time I extended a hand, hoping, if only once, that he would see me. “Go to bed. Eliana." “You do not belong." “You can do whatever you want. I don’t care." I should have hated him for it. Should have resented him for the way he looked through me instead of at me. But instead, I kept hoping. Kept trying. Because Justin was the closest to family I had. But family don’t treat you like a ghost. As I grew older, the whispers around me changed. The warriors began to watch me more closely, their attention lingered over my training, my fighting, my diseased body healing from wounds that would have taken weeks in only a few days. I wasn’t just strong—I was unnatural. Weird things happened whenever I lost my emotions. Winds howled when I screamed. The ground trembled whenever I was afraid. And my senses were sharper than any wolf’s. I could even pick up things that even the strongest of our pack couldn’t! “What is she?" “She's not a lost pup. She's something else." “Does the Alpha know?" They muttered it in low tones, as their fear grew steadily alongside their suspicion. Even Justin noticed. After a training session, I caught him watching me with an unreadable expression. I thought, Maybe now he would ask if I was okay—maybe now he would care. But he just looked away. And that was when the light of hope I'd pressed on for a long time withered into nothing. That night, with everything changed, I stood at the edge of the pack's territory, staring into the dark depths of the woods and beyond. The wind was cold across my skin, but I barely even noticed it. I had spent years trying to belong to someone. And years trying to be loved. I had a story I wasn’t ready to say yet. But no one wanted me in the pack. Not by Justin. Not by anyone. With tears in my eyes, not allowing me to see well, I bit down on my lip to quell a sob free, threatening to escape. Would anyone notice I was gone? If I disappeared, would he even think about it? I stepped forward toward the cliff where the river lurked down. A long drop, with jagged rocks. Water was too deep and too fast for even a wolf to fight against. I shut my eyes. “Eliana!" Some door, very deep, really furious, really scared, rubbed behind me; I didn't budge. Someone wrapped their arms around me, yanked me back, and suddenly, I was pressed against a broad, trembling chest. Alpha Justin. His breath sounded like a cold wind in my ear, his grip bruising as he held tighter, as if letting go meant losing me forever. “What in hell were you thinking?" His voice groaned, edged with an emotion I had never heard before: Fear. The truth hovered over my tongue: I'm tired. I don't quite belong anywhere. I can't bear another day of feeling like a ghost within my own home. But I started to sob into his chest. And he—he wouldn't pull away. For the first time in years, Justin held me. “I should have spotted it," he muttered, half in an imploration. “I should have—" He stopped suddenly, his hands tightening around me. “I'm really so sorry." The words landed harder than any punch. Justin never apologised for anything since his mate died. I pulled back a little and looked up at him. His expression was inscrutable, but there was the glint in his eyes that I had never seen before. Regret. And somehow hovering beneath it was even deadlier. An urge to control. “I made a promise," his voice came low. “To take care of you. To protect you." I swallowed. “You hated me." “I was a fool." His thumb brushed a tear from my cheek, lingering against my skin. “Don't let it." I wanted to believe him. Wanted to let myself fall into the warmth of his sudden concern. But something about the way he looked at me now made my heart pound for an entirely different reason. This wasn't how a father looked at his daughter. And I wasn't sure if I should feel relieved. Or scared.