Chapter 12

Beth’s POV That's crazy. Aaron was an alpha! "No!" I screamed. There was no way I would let him agree to an irrational deal. "I don't need it!" Aaron backed to me, and I was so far from him. I didn't know whether he could hear me. But at the same time, Aaron shook his head to Arc. It seemed he refused the deal. That was what I needed, but I did know, in my deep heart, that wasn't what I wished. I knew fully that my hope was already shattered. Fate always liked to tease me. It often gave me hope and cruelly broke it in the next second, watching me as I fell into the abyss. I couldn't bear the tear that burst out though I hoped so. I wanted to run before Aaron noticed my coming. However, fate teased me again. Aaron said to Arc, loud and clear, like a King shooting his enthroned speech. "No need to ask, Arc. I will do everything for Beth. Even die for her." I frozen. Arc noticed me. Then Aaron turned because of Arc's sight. Arc gave me a deep look, took his medicine kit and said, "I will give you time to think about it. When you reach a decision, inform me. Now, I’m on my way to Joe's pack.” "Other packs are suffering from the plague, but his is fine. I’ll have to find out the reason,” Arc said. Arc went on his way, leaving only me and Aaron in the bedroom. I looked at Aaron, who was so calm like what he did was nothing. "Aaron, I'm doing just fine. You don't need to say yes to Arc's proposal. Turn him down." I stood from the bed and went to stand in front of him. "Look, I am not worth it. OK? I'm not supposed to be alive right now anyway, so my life is not worth such a huge price to pay." My voice trembled as I spoke. "I can die at any time. It's my destiny." I was tempted to tell Aaron that story that I tried my best to put behind me. I move back from him a little, stalking back into the bathroom to shift back to human form, a single thought trailing through my mind: if Aaron is really going to do so much to save me, and ensure that I can at least live a long life, even if it’s not with him – because I still don’t know if he’s going to keep me around – he should at least know the truth. My past. Who I am. What family I come from. Everything. Only after he knows it all – the whole bloody, sorry truth – will I let him decide if he wants to save me. And if he doesn’t, then the whole idea of living and of having a future will be pointless, because I already know that it would kill me if he rejected me. This is the secret I trying to hide the moment I was awake, the moment I knew Joe came and afraid he would tell Aaron in the face. I have been keeping it for a long time, and I must keep hiding it. The old secret should die in the old pack, not here with my mate. “Beth,”his mouth opened. “You are my mate. That's the only thing I care. I will protect you and save you.” He isn’t yelling, but he sounds convincing. I keep my eyes on my lap; if I look up, I’m afraid that the brightness in his eyes will keep me from telling him anything. And I can’t afford to do that. “I know that, Aaron, but I don’t want you to regret saving me when you find out all about my past. I have some secrets, terrible secrets... Aaron, more than you think.” Even as I say it, my heart breaks, aching at the all too real possibility of his hatred, and then my punishment, for harboring such experiences in secrets. “Beth, nothing would ever make me stop wanting you. Nothing.” “Please, just hear me out. Okay?” I can barely whisper it, wanting so badly to believe him, but knowing it will be easier on him to say it now. That way he doesn’t have to waste too much time with me. I know that he says he loves me, but how will he be able to, once he knows all of this? “You… you know that I was abused. But it wasn’t just that; I wasn’t treated like a human. I was six when it started. They used to love me, my pack; I was the Alpha’s daughter, everyone’s favorite kid. I was like the baby of the pack. “And then everything changed. They started hating me. It wasn’t slow, gradual… It happened overnight. One night, I woke up to people screaming, sounding scared, and the men in the pack were all yelling orders around. I didn’t know what to do, I was so scared, and then people started really screaming, like they were being tortured, all at once, and I got out of my bed and crawled underneath it, too scared to do anything but cry quietly and cling to a teddy bear my dad bought me, holding it for dear life. “The next thing I knew, my dad’s Beta, Eric, was pulling me out from under my bed. “Eric told me what happened that night, and then he put me in the tiniest room in the house, farthest away from everyone, with barely a mattress and an unfinished closet. I didn’t understand – how could I go from my pink, princess-sized room to this? “That was only the start. The next thing they did was ignore me. I had to feed myself. Take care of myself. “I didn’t understand, not for a long time, but the more I thought about it, the more I realized: they were blaming me for that night. That horrible night of screaming and crying and death. They were acting like it was all my fault. They started abusing me then, too – hitting me and kicking me for asking a question, or for speaking out of line, or even asking for help. I wasn’t allowed to talk to them, and they were making damned sure that I learn that. “I had scars by the time my seventh birthday came around. I was ten when it got even worse; I didn’t think that was possible.” I chuckle hysterically at that; oh, if I only knew what my pack was capable of. Aaron is shaking with some sort of emotion from beside me, the tremors rolling through the bed, but I can’t dare to look up. I’ll stop talking if I do, and I need to get this out. Rolling my eyes to the ceiling, as if looking for my answers there, I continue. “I don’t know how I could have been so stupid… after everything, every punch, every smack, telling me how worthless I as… how could I think that they would let me off with just that? “That year was when they started making me take care of the pack, and I started not being allowed to eat more than three times a week. I wasn’t even allowed to leave the house! Going from an Alpha to the scum of the house… I had to wash their clothes, feed them, and I had to learn how to take care of their injuries, too. “It was four days after my tenth birthday – not that anyone remembered, but me – when I had to set my first bone. Someone – God knows who – broke their arm doing something stupid, and I had to set it, so that it would heal right. I had no clue what I was doing, and I… I must have poked at it weird, or touched a sensitive part of his skin, because next thing I knew, he was screaming at me, cradling his arm and calling me a useless whore. Eric came in, then, to see what was wrong, and when he found out that I hurt the man… He snapped. “That was the first time that anyone had ever taken a knife to my skin. The scar is here, on my arm, somewhere, I bet…” I mumble, trailing my fingers up and down my arm, as if looking for it. I hear Aaron growl, but I don’t look to him, concentrating on what I have to say next as tears pool in my eyes. Aaron grabs me, twisting me onto his lap so that I’m facing his chest, his arms pressing my face into his neck. “Aaron… no,” I mumble around his skin, but it’s weak, because it makes me feel a million times better to be in his arms – even if he’s shaking with rage. “No, Beth. I need to hold you to keep myself from killing your whole pack right now,” he spits between his teeth, the few words seeming like a lot of effort to get out. I shuffle back from him a little, moving my head so I can talk clearly, still not meeting his eyes. “I need to say this.” “And I need to know that you’re okay, that you’re safe in my arms,” he says, not even hesitating a second as he growls his reply. “You can still talk. But I. Need. You. Here.” He kissed me, gently. I stopped crying. After a while of silence, I speak again, only this time I sound slightly hysterical, my voice shifting up and down octaves as I laugh in cruel self-mockery. “I guess you’re wondering what would make them do this? I pause, letting that sink in as I sniffle, wiping away a few tears. “My dad… He started all of this. He’s the reason that the pack hated me; that I was abused; that I haven’t been trusted for eleven years, or spoken to kindly. “He’s Dylan Ewing.” I glance up quickly, seeing Aaron’s eyes widen in shock as he stares at me, obviously recognizing the name. I squeeze my eyes shut, as a way to stop myself from seeing the anger that I’m sure will follow the shock, and start talking again. “He kind of went… crazy when my mom died. She was killed by rogues; they caught her when she was running through the woods with most of the pack. I was five when it happened; I can’t remember her, not at all. But he lost it… She was his mate, and he couldn’t deal with not having her around. He actually went insane; or so they say. He couldn’t handle being without her, so he started drinking. “In three months, he was a full-on alcoholic, and he was literally either drunk or asleep 24/7. He went out wandering the woods most nights, still intoxicated, just screaming my mom’s name like she would come back. The worst part, though, was the way he started treating our pack. Like the way they treated me. “He blamed them for my mom’s death; positive that someone could have done something to save her. He told himself that the pack let her die, that they handed her over to the rogues, even though that never happened. “And then the rogues came across him, one night when he was at his worst. He was sitting on a cliff side, like he was gonna jump, and a few rogues came and sat down with him. He told them to do it; he told them that he wanted our pack dead. That they got my mom killed –when really, the men that were sitting beside him were the ones to end my mom’s life. “He gave them all of the details of the pack; the defenses, the weaknesses, the easiest way to get to them. And then he told them to kill as many people as they could. They attacked our pack, that very night.