Chapter 15 Chapter Fifteen

He remembered how after Alice's fourth birthday, he had approached Elaine with a suggestion to have a second baby and she had been so appalled by the idea, vehemently kicking against it and even saying "What do we need another baby for, Colin? We're fine the way we are. I don't want more children!" And though he really wanted another child, he had dropped the idea, for her sake. Now suddenly, she was pregnant. It didn't make any sense to him. The suddenness of it all. The infrequency of their intimacy. How very detached they had been some months back after a disagreement, so detached that they could go weeks without making love. And now, doctor Peterson had said she was almost two months gone. He couldn't believe it. Even though he knew it made him look desperate and foolish, Colin hoped silently, fervently, that the baby was his. If it was, it meant there was still something to hold onto in their marriage. It meant he still had a chance to save their marriage, even though he knew he holding on was a dumb thing to do, he just couldn't help it. His love for Elaine was so intense that he the mere thought of losing her broke his heart completely. He couldn't bear to lose her. He just couldn't.