Chapter 1

Gigi was only a child when she became aware of the dirty world they lived in. Her mother was a club dancer, performing nude in front of men, rich men, and sometimes she even took her mother home. When her mother was taken home, she would earn more money, so Gigi was happy when that happened. They could buy delicious food, because she was tired of sardines, and they made her mouth smell. “’Gigi, I might not be able to come home tonight, you take care of your siblings, okay? Here's twenty, buy some sardines tomorrow for your breakfast, and don't forget to lock the door,” her mother instructed, already getting ready for work. Her makeup was thick, and her lips were red. Gigi thought her mother was beautiful. That’s probably why her mother had so many customers, because she was so beautiful, she was so white and smooth. The neighbors often said that they looked alike, and had the same skin tone, because Gigi was also very white, just like her mother. “Yes, Ma. Be careful, Ma,” Gigi replied cheerfully to her mother. She was sure her mother would bring home delicious food tomorrow! Whenever her mother was at work, Gigi took care of her two siblings, Alyana, who was eight years old, and Adrain, who was only three. Gigi was in grade three, and she was often absent from school because there was no one to watch her siblings when their mother came home late. It was Sunday, so there were many customers at the club where her mother worked. She wouldn’t be able to go to school tomorrow again, but it was okay with her. She wanted to quit school, but her mother wouldn’t let her. “Watch your siblings, especially Yanyan, she's so mischievous.” Her mother was curling her shoulder-length hair, it was brown and it looked good on her, Gigi was amazed by her mother's beauty. “Dyosa will be here later, Mom, she said she'll show us her new makeup,” Gigi said cheerfully. “Just don’t leave the house, don’t go out,” her mother reminded her. She didn’t want Gigi to go out because, aside from the fact that there would be no one to watch her siblings, there were many loiterers and drunkards on the corner. Even though Alena was a sex worker, she loved her children. They were the reason why she entered the dirty world of prostitution. It was for her children. She needed money, and this was the only thing she knew how to do, because she didn’t even finish elementary school. “Yes, Mom, we'll just stay here at home,” Gigi replied politely. Her mother stood up and checked her reflection in the mirror. She was wearing a short dress, her white and smooth legs were exposed, she was also wearing a tube top, her shoulders were visible, and her full breasts were almost bursting out. Her mother was beautiful, she wanted to be as beautiful as her mother when she grew up. She wanted to marry a rich man so she could buy all the beautiful clothes and bags. She would make sure all of that would happen so they wouldn’t have to borrow rice from Aling Sonya anymore. That old woman was so grumpy. “Okay, I'm leaving now, there are a lot of people at the club today, a lot of bookings.” She took her cheap bag from the table and kissed her brother, Adrian, who was sleeping soundly on the broken sofa. Gigi thought that she had to be beautiful like her mother to be noticed by rich men. She wanted to buy her mother a new sofa, and she could only do that if she married a rich man. When her friend Dyosa arrived, they happily applied the makeup she brought. It was called foundation, it was supposed to make the face smoother. “Hey, you don’t need that foundation, your face is already smooth, bakla, you’re so annoying,” Dyosa said in a theatrical voice. They had been friends since they were little, Jonathan, or better known as Dyosa. He was the only one who wanted to be her friend because other children didn’t like her because her mother was a sex worker. “Really? But I want to try it,” she said with a pout. She was sure she would be even more beautiful if she had foundation on her face, she really wanted it! “Hey, don’t be greedy! Your face is already smooth, you want it to be even smoother, well, all the smoothness, whiteness, and beauty are yours. You’re too greedy!” Dyosa said with raised eyebrows and rolled her eyes at her. She hugged her friend, he was four years older than her, and he openly displayed his being gay. Even though Dyosa was her only friend, she was content because he didn’t judge her, he even defended her from those who bullied her. “Please, please! Just try it, that’s all. Please,” she said sweetly to her friend. “Fine, you’re lucky I’m kind and beautiful,” he snapped his fingers in the air, “and don’t hug me, bakla, you’re disgusting!” He pushed her away. Gigi laughed at her friend’s actions, even though he was often rude, she knew he loved her. It was getting dark when Dyosa said goodbye. He said he was going to cook rice because his father would get angry if there was no food when he got home. Gigi happily looked at her face in the mirror, it was true what Dyosa said, her face became even smoother when she used the foundation, she looked like a young woman because she used red lipstick, like what her mother often used. They looked alike because of that. She thought she wanted a lot of makeup to make her even more beautiful. She wanted to be the most beautiful in their barangay. At the age of ten, Gigi knew that money was important to achieve her dreams. They were poor, so they couldn’t buy the things they wanted, they didn’t even have enough money to buy food sometimes, so her mother would just borrow. Gigi fed her siblings, and she also washed the dishes. They didn’t have a TV because her mother couldn’t buy a new one when their old one broke. She just entertained herself by reading her books, and sometimes she drew dress designs in her notebook. She fell asleep thinking about how she could find a man who would lift them out of poverty. She was still young, but that was what she was thinking about, she couldn’t wait to grow up. She would make sure she would be beautiful when she grew up. Really beautiful. Gigi woke up when she heard faint moans, she wondered who was moaning like they were in pain. She looked at her two siblings who were beside her, they were sleeping soundly. She was nervous when the moans got louder, she thought they were coming from the living room. She slowly stood up, making sure her movements didn’t make any noise. Her heart felt like it was going to jump out of her chest when she suddenly heard a loud bang outside, she stopped breathing and listened to what was happening outside. The moans continued, it sounded like two people because they had different timbres. It couldn’t be thieves because they wouldn’t make noise, because they would be exposed. Gigi bit her lip because her heart was beating so loudly, she didn’t want to go out because she was scared. With her eyes closed, she opened the door to their room and quietly went out, her hands were trembling. The moans got louder as she got closer to their kitchen, the light was on. As far as she could remember, she turned it off before going into the room. She clenched her fist and bravely moved forward to see what was happening, she didn’t breathe as she slowly approached where the loud moans were coming from. If it was an aswang, it was surely the end for them siblings. The curtains were covering their kitchen, so she hid on the side and peeked. Her eyes widened and she covered her mouth to prevent making any noise. At the age of ten, Gigi witnessed how her mother worked. She was frozen in her tracks as she watched her mother, who was naked and lying on their dining table, while a naked man was on top of her