Chapter 6 A Manipulator

Ryan has been quiet since I dropped the news. “Say something,” I say, my voice breaking slightly. But Ryan just stares at me, his jaw clenched, his face rigid. I know that look too well. It's his bomb-ticking look, the one he wears when he's moments away from an explosion. “Julie,” Emily says. She glances at Ryan before going on, “I’m sure whoever you’ve chosen will be wonderful. After all, you found Ryan and kept him, so you must know how to make good choices in life.” Her smile makes my fingers itch. I want to grab something—anything—and hurl it at her. My nails dig into my palms. Stay calm, I remind myself. If I react, Ryan will just assume I’ve lost my mind, and then where will I be? How would I fight for my marriage from an asylum? “No,” Ryan says, catching me off guard. “What?” “The answer is no, Julie,” he says, cold and final. I stare at him, not believing he just said that. “It wasn’t a request, Ryan. I was letting you know I’m exploring new options. So when you see me with someone else, you don’t ask unnecessary questions.” His eyes narrow, and for the first time in a long while, I see anger in those green eyes. “Are you throwing my words back at me? Is that what this is? A game? You want to get me jealous by making up some boyfriend? Was that your grand plan?” “Why would I want to get you jealous, Ryan?” “Because that’s what you do, Julie.” His voice rises. “You’re a manipulator. Everything you say or do has a purpose. But this? This is crossing the line. You’re not getting a boyfriend, and that’s final!” He slams his hand down on the table, sending a glass teetering over. Water splashes across Emily’s dress. “Jesus Christ, Ryan!” Emily yells, standing up. “What has gotten into you?” Ryan’s on his feet in a second, arms wrapping around her. His voice is soft and soothing as he apologizes into her hair. “I’m sorry, I’m so sorry…” I stare at the wet patch on the table, willing myself not to break, not to let a single tear fall. If I cry, he’ll think he’s won. And I won’t give him that satisfaction. I need to stay strong. Ryan’s not in his right mind—he’s not thinking clearly—and I can change him. I just need to push a little harder. Emily disentangles herself from Ryan and sits back down, smoothing her dress. She clears her throat. “Forgive Ryan for the outburst, Julie. He gets overwhelmed by little things sometimes.” She smiles, that same condescending smile. “It’s nice that you want to explore. We all deserve happiness.” Her words make my skin crawl. A typical secretary, covering for her boss. I guess I’m the stranger in this marriage now. Ryan drops back into his chair, his posture stiff but more composed than before. “You have me, Julie. I’m always here. What more happiness are you looking for?” “Ryan,” Emily warns. “No, Emily, stay out of this.” His voice is harsh now, and for a moment, I see the cracks in his composure. “Julie is my wife. You think I’m just going to let some random guy waltz into our lives and ‘hang out’ with her? What if he’s a con artist? Or worse, a kidnapper? You don’t know him! What if he’s just using her for her money?” Emily doesn’t wait for him to finish. She stands up, turning on her heel and heading for the stairs. “Honey, where are you going?” Ryan asks, panicking as he chases after her. “I’m taking my things and leaving,” she says without looking back. “Why would you do that? Please, let's talk about this.” She pauses halfway up the stairs, turning just enough to throw a scathing look over her shoulder. “Because you don’t value my opinions, Ryan. You never have. How can I stay with someone who refuses to listen to me?” His voice is pleading now. “Emily, please. What do you want? Just tell me, and I’ll do it.” “Let Julie have her relationship,” she says. Ryan stops in his tracks, his face pale, as though he's been slapped. For a moment, I think he’s going to scream, but instead, he just looks at her calmly. There’s a long pause before he turns to me. “Fine. I’ll let you have a boyfriend on one condition.” “What’s that?” I say. “I meet him. Whoever this guy is, I want to see him. Face to face.” His voice is quiet, but it carries an edge. “I have a lunch appointment tomorrow with a potential business partner. You can bring him over... thirty minutes into the break.” I did not expect that. I wanted an explosion. I wanted Ryan to fall to his knees and beg me not to see someone else. I wanted him to finally show me that he still cared. But this… I recognize what it is. He’s calling my bluff. He thinks I’m lying, that this “boyfriend” of mine is just a desperate attempt to get under his skin. And by giving me until tomorrow, he’s daring me to prove him wrong. The worst part is that I can see the satisfaction in his eyes. He thinks I’m cornered, that I’ll back down and admit there is no other man. It takes every ounce of strength not to snap at him, not to let him see how much his words sting. Instead, I keep my voice steady, my face neutral. “Agreed.” His eyes narrow a little, surprised. Emily clears her throat. She’s standing by the stairs now, her arms crossed, watching the scene unfold. “Ryan,” she says. “We should go.” Ryan doesn’t respond right away. Instead, he stares at me. The silence between us feels heavy, almost suffocating. His eyes are searching mine, waiting for me to crack. But I won’t. “Julie,” he says, “I hope you know what you’re doing.” “I do.” Ryan doesn’t say anything else. I can see the hurt in his eyes, the anger too, but he won’t admit it. That would mean losing control, and Ryan never loses control. Emily watches us, impatient. “Ryan,” she says again, firmer this time. “We need to go.” Finally, Ryan pulls his gaze away from me and walks to the door. His steps are slow. I stand still, my heart pounding as I watch him leave. At the door, he stops and looks back at me. We lock eyes, and I see the man I fell in love with, the man who once promised me forever. Then, just as quickly, his face hardens, and he walks out, closing the door behind him. Emily follows, her heels clicking on the floor. She doesn’t look at me as she leaves. I walk to the window, watching as Ryan and Emily get into his car. He’s still staring at the house, even as he opens the door for her, like he’s expecting me to burst out and stop them. His hand lingers on the door handle longer than it should, his posture tense. I can’t breathe. My heart is pounding so loudly in my chest, I can barely think. His eyes meet mine one last time through the window. Then he turns away, gets in the car, and drives off. ~~~ Someone's in my bed. I can feel the person's hand in my hair. I smell alcohol in their breath. I’m slowly coming awake, trying to figure out if it's real or if I’m still dreaming. But then I hear my name, “Jules.” That name. Only one person calls me that. I twist around, my heart racing. “Ryan? What the hell are you doing here?”