Chapter 5 MY HUNGER FOR HIM

THE FEELING OF EMPTINESS After she left, i remembered that I still have a long way to go, trying to start from scrap is not an easy one. I wondered how my life would be, my flight had been paid by my cousin, Powell, such a wonderful cousin at that. My parents had rendered me useless to the point I don't even have a starting point, my begining starts with my end. I brought my hands to my head, and used my leg to kick a big stone nearby. It hurt so much, but I was oblivious to the pain, the one in my heart hurts more, as it felt like my heart was about to explode from my chest. I have no place to go to if not for my cousin who had directed me to a very good friend of his, here in Athens. It was late in the evening, around 6:33pm, I have to start going if I really wanted to find the house. It isn't my first time coming to Athens, but as an ex-wealthy man, I knew only of luxurious and lush places. I brought my hands to the sides of my pocket, I dug my hands in and brought out the folded piece of paper which had the location of my new savior who had agreed to let me stay with him in his house. According to my cousin, it's not really his house but it's a rented appartment. I was in the left side of the road trying to hail a taxi down. I remembered how it was when I still had my wealth to myself. Since I was a child I never entered a taxi, it was always my personal ride or my Fathers', I remembered how I looked at the mini people whenever I was going to school. My life was just too luxurious for this type of life am about to live, in any ways I have to survive, I have to prove to my family that I am better off without them. If there is anyone I trusted to stand for me after I was accused it's my twin sister Coladra, I had too much hopes on her, that even though everyone had turned their back on me I never expected that. We had a bond as twins, yet she broke it, we had promised to look after each other's backs, yet she broke it. We had promised each other, that whenever one person between us is troubled or accused we would stand for each other, but yet, she broke the promises we had made to each other. I remembered vividly, it was during summer, she came back home.... Maybe I should just leave my thoughts for another day. I flagged down a taxi, "Porto sani village", I inquired. "Yes, come on in", he said in his Turkish accent. I was surprised of his accent, because I know that people in this side speak mostly of Greek. While Turkish is their co-official language, Greek is their official language. I knew I wasn't used to this life but I know I had to survive, to let my family know I can live without them, I have to strive hard. I slid my tall frame into the car, my head was touching the roof of the car, that I had to bend my head from bumping against the roof of the car. I looked up and noticed the driver looking at me from the rearview mirror, he grinned showing his toothless front zone of his mouth. "You are such a big man", he said, I just nodded and smiled. He looked again and nodded his head. I was grateful that at least someone had allowed me to live in his place, I don't even know if the offer would take long, one thing I had in mind was that no matter how short he offers for me to stay there, I would forever be grateful. I looked ahead, the place was looking so ancient and rural, in my life I never imagined stepping my feet in this type of place. I could see young children squarming round the place naked, damn, this is my new life. No matter how hard I tried castigating this place, my subconscious mind always counter me, "a rural place where you don't even know how long you would stay, if it would even be for eternity", with that last thought in mind, I shut my eyes close. I remembered the promise I made to the lady from the airplane, "would I ever see her again, will I ever get to know the taste of her?", I asked myself as different thoughts came running in my head. It didn't even seem like we were going to reach there anytime soon, I noticed the more he drives farther into the village, the bushier it became. A loud sigh left my mouth, in my lifetime this wasn't what I bargained for, "in the midst of your struggles, keep smiling, there is a brighter future", those were the words of my mum, when my father disowned me, not just in front of the family, also his friends. He had called a meeting in his auditorium, all his workers were present, both the enemies he knows nothing off, he called me and told me to stand on the stage. He said to the world, that he had dropped every thing he had with me, I am no more his son, he disgraced me, disowned me and cursed me. I will never let his words get at me, I would only use his words to keep me going. The car immediately screeched to a halt, I came down and was welcomed by the evening breeze. With just my suitcase, I slid myself gracefully out of the car, yes, it was just my suitcase and I. My father had ordered not to let me, take anything out of the house, if it was just his company that he severed my access to I wouldn't be concerned. He had called the banker, who had access to my bank and ordered them to shut it down, he told the workers never to address me as their boss, and had threatened them that if they should go otherwise they would be sacked. I paid the taxi-driver his money, grabbed my suitcase and started walking into the house. Yes I walked into the house,because there was no other house along that side, it was just an old bungalow, that looked like it would fall if a heavy breeze should blow. I entered the gate and walked past it, I remembered I had to call the man, just in case he wasn't around, soni could look for a place to stretch my aching muscles. The muscle ache had been from the car, it was too short for my height, now I began questioning myself of my height, something which had never bothered me, is now becoming a burden to me. I brought out the ruffled sheet if paper in my pocket, I gazed at the number in the paper thoroughly, like though I knew his name beforehand. I opened my phone and dialled his number, it started ringing, but he wasn't picking. I dialled it for the fifth and sixth time, yet, he still wasn't picking my call. I opened the paper once more to check his room number, his room number was nine. I looked at the bungalow for the fourth time, "how can there be up to nine rooms in this building that looks dilapidated", I asked myself. I decided going to his room, I rang his phone again, I heard it ringing, this time around it wasn't coming from my phone, but from the room which I had just passed. "Maybe he's sleeping", I thought. I came closer, but no, it wasn't mere voices I was hearing. The voices were double, it was a growling yet guttural sound and a moaning voice. With that, I knocked on the door.