Chapter 5

Ryan sat in his car a few houses down from where Serena had parked, his hands firmly grasping the steering wheel. The small home, with its well manicured plants and comforting lights lighting inside, told him one thing; Serena had made her life here without him. He wasn't sure what to expect, but seeing the house triggered a peculiar combination of emotions; shame and longing. He watched Serena gently carry a sleeping Amy into the house. The sight of his daughter caused his chest to hurt. He had missed so much, years of her life that he couldn't reclaim. But right now, he wasn't there for Amy. He needed to see Serena. Ryan waited until the lights in the house darkened, then calculated how long it would take Serena to tuck Amy into bed. His mind raced, and memories of their time together came flooding back. When they were only pals, her laughter would lighten even his worst days. After they married, she gazed at him as if he were her entire universe. But then, he had thrown everything away. Not tonight. Tonight, he refused to let her push him away. When enough time had elapsed, he stepped out of his car, his resolve unwavering. He came up to her door and rang the bell. Serena was startled by the sound of the doorbell, and her heart raced. Who could be here at this hour? She hesitated for a bit before walking to the door. She noticed him while looking through the peephole. Ryan. Her pulse sped, and a rush of emotions washed over her—anger, perplexity, and something else she didn't want to accept. She opened the door slightly while holding the chain lock in place. “What are you doing here? Are you stalking me?” she asked sternly. Ryan's gaze was fierce, his eyes fixed on her. “I could not leave things as they were, Serena. We need to talk." “There's nothing to talk about," she said, beginning to close the door. Ryan pressed his hand against the door, using his strength to keep it open. “Let me in, Serena," he murmured quietly, but with a demanding tone. She hesitated, sighed, and briefly closed the door to undo the chain. Ryan did not wait when she reopened it. He walked inside and slammed the door behind him. “Ryan, I—" Serena began, but before she could finish, he was on her. His hands cupped her face, and his lips smashed down on hers with such force that she lost her breath. She froze for a brief minute, taken aback by the ferocity of his kiss. But then her body failed her. She melted into him, her hands grabbing his shirt as his lips pressed against hers, demanding and relentless. It had been so long since she felt this, and her carefully constructed defences fell in an instant. “Ryan," she muttered against his lips, but it came across more as a plea than a protest. He did not stop. His hands slipped down to her waist, bringing her closer until there was no room between them. “I've missed you," he said softly, his voice raspy and full of love. Serena's determination weakened. She'd spent years convincing herself she was over him and had moved on. But now, with his touch sparking every nerve in her body, all of the falsehoods she had told herself began to unravel. "Stop," she said quietly, but her body betrayed her as she kissed him back just as hard. Ryan picked her effortlessly and carried her to the couch. He lowered her carefully, his lips never leaving hers. "Ryan, we shouldn't…" she started, but his kisses ran down her neck, leaving a trail of heat. “Tell me to stop, Serena," he said, his voice heavy and desperate. However, she didn't. The night passed in a flurry of intensity and intense emotion. Serena had forgotten what it was like to be touched by him and feel so loved. She despised herself for giving in so quickly, but nothing else mattered in that moment. When she eventually fell asleep, her head resting on Ryan's chest, she felt a peculiar sensation of calm that she hadn't felt in years. ~~~~ Ryan left Serena's house early the next morning, the fresh air doing little to quench the fire that remained in his veins. As he approached his car and took his phone from his pocket, the screen lighted up with several missed calls from Kate, his girlfriend. His jaw tightened as he looked at the notifications, wondering why she called without returning the call and drove away. **** Serena awoke to an empty bed. For a while, she believed it was all a dream. But when she saw the tousled blankets partly on the floor beside her, truth struck her like a tidal wave. She sat up, holding the blanket to her chest, her cheeks flushed with humiliation. “What have I done?" she said to herself. The recollections from the night before came flooding back. She let Ryan back in, allowing him to touch and embrace her. She had allowed him to see a side of her that she had kept concealed for so long. Serena hid her face in her palms. She felt weak and silly. Ryan had left her once before, and she vowed never to let him hurt her again. But now she was unsure. A quiet knock on her bedroom door interrupted her thoughts. “Mommy?" Amy's tiny voice rang out. Serena instantly controlled herself and put on a robe before opening the door. “Good morning, darling. How are you feeling now?" she said, attempting a grin. “Good morning, I'm feeling better mommy." Amy replied with a drowsy grin. "Can we have pancakes?" Serena nodded and rubbed Amy's hair softly, happy for the distraction. "Of sure, Baby. Go wash up, and I'll begin making them." "You're the best Mommy ever…" Amy exclaimed. Serena leaned on the doorframe while Amy rushed away. Her mind was still racing, but she put those ideas aside. She needed to focus on Amy. But deep inside, she knew it wasn't over. Ryan returned, and things were far from resolved.