Chapter 4

Kelly’s POV I was playing with the wedding ring on my finger. I told him to go home early but he didn’t come home completely. He wasn’t even answering my calls. Well, now Lexi was back, this house was probably not home in his eyes anymore. My eyes turned to my pregnancy report on the table. What a mockery. I was still naive to hold a glimmer of hope that things would be different if I told him about the baby. But forget this baby was out of his plan. Sure, Pierce was not the kind who would force me to have an abortion. But he couldn't cut out his obsession with Lexi either. He might stay in this loveless marriage if his parents asked. But all I had would only be an empty shell. That's not a Father what I wanted for my baby. I wiped off the tears collecting at the corner of my eyes and collected the report. It was 5 am already when I looked at the clock on the wall. I tried to dial his number again, but still busy. What was he busy with? Was he busy making love with Lexi? He must have missed her a lot, didn't he? I still remember the day when he came back after his first private vacation with Lexi. His joy was unmistakable. Nearly at once, I could tell they made love. The same day I returned to my room, I cried out loud as I took off my makeup. Nothing I did worked. I could never replace Lexi in his heart. I felt like hundreds of pounds pressing my chest. I decided to get a shower to wash away all the miserable emotions but the moment I opened the wardrobe, our intimate clothes were snuggled together bringing me back to the memory of how Pierce and I had sex here last time. It was that time he didn't use contraception. He was so passionate that I thought he finally accepted our marriage. I once believed his return from this business trip would be a fresh start for us but actually, it was a start for us to fall apart now. Unable to suppress my feelings any longer, I crouched down crying loudly. Why? Why am I always the one they choose to abandon? Why don't I deserve to be loved? I didn't remember how I fell asleep. When the alarm clock went off, I subconsciously touched the pillow beside me. Cold as last night. He didn't come home yet. I sneered at myself as I caught my reflection in the dresser mirror. The dark circles under my eyes were so clear and my hair was a total mess, looking like a ghost. See, Kelly? That's what happened when you stepped into such a loveless marriage without a second thought. You would only break yourself if you continue on the wrong path. Just get a divorce. Spare him and yourself. Your baby needs a strong mommy. Suddenly a wave of nausea flooded my stomach and I realized I hadn't even eaten anything last night. Feeling sick again, I run to the sink and puke. I spit yellowish liquid and it tastes so bad. I washed my mouth immediately and stared at my own reflection in the mirror. I shook my head and cupped my forehead as soon as I felt like throwing up again. I spit yellowish liquid again and while I’m washing my mouth, I feel a warm hand caressing my back. I immediately lifted my face and met a pair of brown eyes looking at me through the mirror. Standing behind me with a worried face was my husband Pierce. I’ve always been thankful that I have him as my best friend and husband but now…I’m losing him. Hopelessly losing him. “Are you okay? Are you not feeling well? You should’ve told me.” I stared at him through the mirror. “You didn’t answer my calls. Guilt flickered in his eyes. “I’m sorry. I had some things to do. I stayed in the office all night.” I wiped my face and walked past him. He followed me as I sat in front of the vanity and started combing my hair. “Kels…” “I woke up late. I failed to prepare breakfast.” I tried to avoid his eyes. I felt like I would lose my temper and snap at him. There was no moment when I felt his selfishness so clearly as now. He called me his best friend yet he had never seriously confronted my needs. My feelings. "Kels...... you know I'm not asking about this. I'm just worried about your condition......" “Kels, are we still okay?” I stopped combing my hair and slowly met his eyes. Through the mirror, again. Really? He’s asking me that? After he offered me a divorce without even asking if I was okay with it? He decided on his own. Just because his first love is back. I can’t believe him. I faked a smile. “I just don’t feel well today, Pierce.” He immediately squatted beside me which is not surprising because I know he truly cares. What surprised me is why is he still doing this after he buried a dagger in my heart. “Are you okay?” He gently touched my forehead and neck. “Are you sick? Tell me how you feel, Kels.” “My feelings don’t matter,” I couldn’t help but blurt out. He looked shocked because of what I said. When I attempted to avoid him, he grabbed my wrist and made me face him. His face is mirroring his anger now. He’s completely lost his patience. “What’s wrong with you, Kels? You’ve been acting like this since yesterday. Is this about Lexi? Or was it because I didn’t come home last night?” I looked him in the eyes, annoyed. "You're the one who asked for a divorce! I told you to come back earlier but you just let me wait for the whole night. How do you want me to greet you this morning, Pierce?” He clenched his jaws and shook his head. “Kels, I..." "Enough. We can talk about the divorce after work today." “Kels!” He called and grabbed my shoulders. Confusion and pain were visible in his eyes. “Are you…in love with me?” I was taken aback? In love? Yes! Ever since we were in high school. Ever since he became my best friend. Who wouldn’t fall for someone who has been protecting you ever since? But of course, I can’t tell him. It would only complicate things more. I don’t even want him to pity me. I shook my head and pushed his arms away. “Are you on drugs? I’m not in love with you.” I turned my back on him and entered the bathroom again. I locked it before going to the bathtub. I should focus on myself. I can’t let my emotions affect me but…but why are my tears falling again? “You are so pathetic, Kelly! You can’t even tell him how you truly feel,” I whispered to myself as I wiped my tears angrily. It took me almost an hour bathing. When I was done, I realized Pierce had already left. I shook my head in disbelief. He’s been constantly abandoning me. I can’t believe we’d reach this point. I thought we were okay. I was so stupid. *** “Good morning, Miss Monroe…” “Good morning, Vice President…” I did not greet anyone back just like how I used to greet them back. I still feel pissed and my mood seems off. Irritation can easily take over me and I can’t control it. Probably because of Pierce’s divorce proposal or because of my pregnancy. I was about to enter my office when I heard two girls talking. “Did you see her? I bet she’s Mr. Anderson’s girlfriend. They seemed close.” My forehead creased. Pierce’s girlfriend? “Ah! It’s a waste that I didn't see her face but I feel like it’s Miss Lexi.” “Lexi? Lexi Gilbert? The model?” “Yes! I bet my whole month's salary on this. They look good together.” “Come on! Miss Monroe and Mr. Anderson look better together.” “Are you serious? They’re best friends. You know, some people are better off just friends. It’s Mr. Anderson and Miss Monroe.” I squeezed my eyes closed and pushed the door of my office. I slowly closed it and rested my back against it. This is harder than I expected. I took a deep breath and sat on my swivel chair. I opened the computer at the same time a notification popped up on the screen of my phone. My hands started shaking as soon as I saw the notification. It was Pierce’s social media update. He uploaded a photo of him and Lexi together. Eating in a fancy restaurant. I balled my fists and gritted my teeth. Of course, there’s no way I can compete with her in his heart. She’s always the first one and I will always be the last in his priorities.