Chapter 7 7 I Accept But…

“I won’t force you if you don’t want to work here, but I will do anything in my power to change your mind,” he said, then paused. “Not because I want you, but because my kids want you." I sighed, shaking away the unnecessary thoughts from my mind. I understood the weight of his words and realized that my decision would not only impact my future but also the lives of his children. Why the hell, Hollis' words kept repeating in my mind. The same scene kept repeating in my mind. The image of his pleading eyes and the sound of his desperate voice echoed in my thoughts, making it difficult to focus on anything else. I knew that I couldn't ignore the significance of this opportunity and the potential impact it could have on all of our lives. No, why should I care? It's none of my business. But deep down, I couldn't shake off the feeling of responsibility that weighed heavily on me. The thought of turning my back on Hollis and his children felt like abandoning them in their time of need. I tried avoiding the thoughts as I made my way out of Max’s nursery and into the kitchen. Entering the kitchen, I watch Hollis struggle as Max continues crying nonstop. I couldn't help but feel a pang of empathy for Hollis, realizing the immense pressure he must be under as a single parent. The sound of Max's cries echoed through the room, reminding me of the urgency to find a solution and offer my support. God, I can’t stand to watch Max like this. I thought as I spread my arms out in front of Max, and as soon as he saw me, he jumped out of Hollis's arms and hugged me tight. I could feel the tension in Max's little body as he clung to me, seeking comfort. Hollis looked relieved as he saw Max finally calm down in my embrace. “Shhh ... It's okay,” I cooed Max in my arms, with his head resting on my shoulder. I gently rocked him back and forth, hoping to soothe his troubled mind. Max's tears slowly subsided, and his breathing became more steady. As I held him, I couldn't help but feel a sense of responsibility to protect and support him through whatever he was going through. A few minutes passed as he calmed down. I could feel the tension leaving Max's body as he relaxed in my arms. His grip on me loosened, and I could tell that he was starting to feel safe. It was a relief to see him find some peace after whatever had upset him. “Look…. I’m grateful for you taking care of Max. But….” he paused, as moved his hands to smooth Max's hair. “I don’t want them to get attached to you. It's going to hurt them.” I understood his concern and nodded, acknowledging the potential pain that could arise from forming an attachment. "I understand your worry," I replied softly. He is right, but I can’t stop myself from helping them. I feel a strong connection to Max and I believe that by being there for them, I can make a positive impact on their life. It's a risk I'm willing to take, even if it means experiencing some heartache along the way. “You're, right….,” I said. "But sometimes, the pain of not helping someone in need can be even greater." I paused, reflecting on my own experiences. "I've learned that the rewards of making a difference outweigh the potential heartache." Hollis nodded his head at words but didn’t say anything except he changed the subject. “It's almost his bedtime,” Hollis said, trying to take Max from my arms but Max started shouting as he grabbed my shirt. I gently tried to remove Max's tiny hands off my shirt and looked into his tear-filled eyes. "It's okay, buddy," I reassured him. Hollis sighed, moving his hands away from Max. He understood that Max needed some extra time and comfort before going to bed. He looked at me with gratitude, appreciating my patience and understanding toward our son's needs. “This is what I meant; they are attached to you.” "They feel safe and secure with you," Hollis added, his voice filled with sadness and longing. I nodded, understanding the weight of his words. “I know…,” I said with a sign of exhaustion. “I can help you to put him in bed if you want….,” I offered, trying to be helpful despite my weariness. “I don’t want to… but I guess I don’t have an option,” Hollis said, walking in front of me to the nursery. I followed closely behind, sensing Hollis's reluctance but understanding the need for assistance. As we entered the nursery, I couldn't help but feel a pang of sympathy for both Hollis and the child, knowing that sometimes we have to do things we don't want to for the sake of those we care about. "Where is Summer?” I asked. “She might be in her room. Let me check.” Hollis replied, his voice filled with a mix of exhaustion and concern. He hurriedly made his way towards Summer's room, leaving me standing, contemplating the weight of responsibility that Hollis carried on his shoulders. “Daddy…,” Summer said as soon he saw Hollis opening the door. Her voice was small and filled with fear, causing my heart to ache. I watched as Hollis knelt to her level, his tired eyes softening with love and reassurance. “Are you fine?” Hollis said as Summer nodded her head. He gently brushed a strand of hair away from her face, his touch comforting and tender. “Do you want me to put you to bed?” he whispered, his voice soothing. Summer shook her head. “No…, I can sleep on my own.” "Alright, but remember I'm just a call away if you need anything," Summer nodded, a hint of relief in her eyes as she hid her face under the quilt. “Okay then…,” Hollis said as he paused, staring at Summer. “Goodnight and call me if you need anything,” Hollis said, a little awkwardly as leaves. I sighed regarding the exhaustion and sadness in Hollis's eyes, getting ignored by his children. I can't help but wonder what might be the reason for the difference in their relationship. I wondered if it was due to a lack of communication or perhaps a growing distance caused by his busy life. It saddened me to see such a disconnect between a father and his children, and I hoped that they would find a way to bridge the gap and strengthen their bond. I can see that he loves his children but he just doesn't know how to express it to them. I am not sure if this is the right place for this question but I am not sure where else to ask it. "Can I ask you why your children are like strangers to you?" Hollis looked stunned by my question staring at Max who is watching our conversation leaning in my arms rather than his father. Hollis hesitated for a moment before responding, "I never intended for my children to feel like strangers to me. It's just that... I've always struggled with expressing my emotions. I guess I've been so focused on providing for them financially that I neglected the emotional aspect of their relationship." As he spoke, a mix of regret and determination appeared in his eyes. "Yeah... right. And now you need me to be that bridge." I suggested. Hollis nodded, acknowledging my observation. "I know it's a lot to ask, but I want to bridge that emotional gap between us. I want my children to feel connected to me, not just as a provider but as their father." His voice carried a hint of vulnerability and hope. I sighed gathering my thoughts, realizing the weight of his request. It was clear that Hollis was making a genuine effort to repair our relationship and prioritize his role as a father. As I looked into his eyes, I saw the sincerity behind his words and decided to give him a chance to prove himself. "You know... I hate you. but that doesn't mean I will hate Summer and Max too." I could sense the conflict within me as I processed Hollis' words. Despite my resentment towards him, I couldn't deny the importance of allowing our children to have a relationship with their father. Swallowing my pride, I responded, "I guess I will think about your offer." "I thought you never wanted work for me," Hollis said, staring at me with his face unreadable I sighed. "Well, circumstances have changed," I admitted, meeting his gaze. "But don't mistake this as forgiveness. I care about you all I care about is Max and Summer, no matter how bad of a person you're but you're trying hard to be a good father." "You think so....," Hollis asked as he didn't trust my words. "I do," I replied, maintaining eye contact. "But actions speak louder than words. If you truly want to be a good father, you need to prove it through consistent effort and positive change." "What do you mean?" Hollis questioned, his tone filled with uncertainty. I took a deep breath before responding, "I mean that being a good father requires more than just saying the right things. It means showing up for Max and Summer, being there for them emotionally and physically, and making choices that prioritize their well-being above all else." "You hire me or anyone else with money but at the end of the day, you're the only person they need love and guidance from. Money can provide for their material needs, but it cannot replace the love and support that only a parent can give. It's about being present in their lives and actively participating in their growth and development." "So help me build that bond with them," Hollis said with determination in his voice as he looked directly into my eyes. "Help me... Please."