Chapter 6 Ambivalence

I didn't know what I was thinking. After making the call, I was once again lost in thought. Why would I call Vince Yi when I was lonely and helpless? He was just a stranger who had intimate moments with me in a darkened room without seeing each other’s face. Why was he the first one that came to my mind? Actually I knew the simple reason: he was the first man who had shared a meaningful form of physical relationship with me. At the same time, I was curious about what he looked like. As night fell, I put on an exquisite make-up and picked a slim-fitting dress. I was nervous, regretting making that phone call. But when I checked the time, it was already late and Jerry hadn't come back yet. I realized he was probably with Duo Lian again. I made up my mind, so I left the house and took a taxi. I soon arrived at the Emperor Hotel. I went to the reception and wanted to book the same room last time, but was informed that the room had been booked already. Hearing this, I felt so relieved. Since the old place had been reserved by someone else, then my appointment with Vince should also be canceled. I was able to find an excuse not to go up there. I pulled my phone out of my bag, found the number of Vince and dialed it, he picked up the phone as soon as I called. "Come upstairs!" I was shocked by his simple words. It turned out that he'd already booked that room and was waiting for me to go up, but how could he know I was coming? Was it guesswork? If it was, he must be a marvelous soothsayer. Urged by him, I was in a passive position. My legs were as heavy as lead. I couldn’t move, staring at the elevator not far away, it was already on the first floor. "Hello, are you Miss Mo?" A waitress behind me asked, smiling sweetly and politely. I looked at her in puzzlement and nodded my head. The waitress handed me a room card and asked me to take it. I was confused for a moment. Looking at the room card which had the familiar room number written on it, I immediately realized what was this for. "Thank you." I said to the waitress, slowly walking to the elevator. My mind was filled with Jerry's betrayal and Duo's provocations. Instantly I was aware that I was just a dirty woman in Jerry's eyes as I had sold my body for him that night. Five years, well, it's been three years already. I could almost see the end of my miserable life. I put my hand on my chest which was pounding fiercely because of my beating heart, staring at the rising numbers restlessly. "Ding!" The elevator door opened, unlike last time, I walked out of the elevator without hesitation. I went to the old place and opened the door, the room was dark. I could tell that Vince preferred the dark to the light. I stood still as I did last time, not putting the card into the main switch, as if time had frozen. "Turn on the lights!" He said in a husky voice, the only difference from last time was that he'd let me turn on the lights today. "Okay." I answered dully and inserted the card, and the room instantly lit up while my eyes fell on the face of the handsome man directly in front of me. Vince was expressionless, sitting on the couch and staring at me with his brooding eyes. He looked completely different with what I thought he would be. I thought he might be ugly, maybe looked average at best, but I didn't expect that he was so gorgeous. Gorgeous, I couldn't believe I was describing him with this word. I couldn’t take my eyes off his face, and while I was gazing at his thin lips, he stood up and walked towards me. I was dumbfounded and stepped back instinctively. The friction of my high heels against the carpet made me lean back and I was about to fall down, but Vince instantly moved forward, he reached out his big and strong hands to my waist so that I wouldn't fall down. An intimate atmosphere was surrounding us because of this awkward position. Vince stared down at me, raising his eyebrows and smiling, "How long are we gonna stay in this position?" Saying this, he bent his head, as if he was going to kiss me. I could feel my face reddening and heating.