Chapter 4 How ‘I' Want

Following his orders, we were about to leave for his mansion and fortunately, he didn’t force me to cut my hair or else I would be cursing him. I made the mole as he instructed and came to him, feeling highly timid to be introduced as someone I was not, the merest thought of it distressed me. This was not me. I was against all this but since when did my choices or words mattered? My eyes fell on the daunting figure, sipping his coffee once again while working ambitiously on his laptop. “Morning,” Mumbling quietly, I sat down as he hummed without looking up from the screen, typing rapidly. “Hmm, have breakfast and we will leave. My family will be there to ask about us,” “Why?” I asked casually, still not eating a bite of my food when he was present. His powerful aura had deprived me of normal functioning too. I couldn’t swallow a bite in his presence because it seemed like he would judge me. “We met with an accident when coming back from our villa where she died. I told them we were staying there for the past two months, letting her recover,” He explained nonchalantly, completing his work on the laptop and closing it. “So it had been only two months since her death?” “Yes,” “Aren’t you devastated? It had been only two months and here you are, putting me in her place,” “This is none of your business,” He responded rudely. Rising from the seat with his hands in his pockets, completing his authoritative composure. “You only do as you are told, don’t make it obvious and what you can’t handle, blame it on the accident,” “Okay…” Forming my lips in a thin line, I kept my eyes lowered as he walked away, permitting me a few moments to be soothed and have breakfast peacefully. After breakfast, he called, “Let’s go, Liliana,” “Okay, Sir,” Nodding, I stood beside him, noticing how tall he was compared to me. “Try to use my name before others,” “Mhm,” I would rather not use his name at all. Without talking further, we went to his mansion that was no less than a palace, my jaw dropped at the exquisite place, brighter, prettier than my imaginations. He noticed my gaped mouth and closed it by his index finger, “Don’t react this way before others,” Embarrassed, I looked down, “Sorry,” We stopped at the gigantic and majestic appearance with shining carving that blinded me by the radiance. Abashed by the opulence and display of lavishness, I decided to stand behind his shoulder. My heart started pumping rapidly as we entered and an elderly woman hugged him, judging from their similar looks, she must be his mother. “Oh my God, my dearest! How are you two!? Are you okay?!” “We are fine, Mama, don’t worry.” Taking her hands and kissing them, a gentle smile adorning his lips that suited him well. He pulled her into a side hug as she held my hand and kissed my forehead with sorrow creeping on her face. “Ah, my lord bless you two,” His father, I guess, came too. “Where is Zach?” Zach Boris was his younger brother, only a year difference between them; as notorious as his brother. Cold and rude. “He is busy with some work,” And at his mention, his softness faded, rolling his eyes to scoff. “When he is not? Not that brother and sister-in-law are returning from the accident, at least pay some regards,” “Don't say this, you know he loves you a lot,” Mrs. Boris tried to make him listen but he waved his hand to shrug this matter off. “I have seen it, let’s go, sweetheart, she needs rest,” Enunciating, he took my hands and led us inside, my heart skipped a beat when his large hands gripped mine firmly. “Learn the way,” He instructed. “Okay…” Leading up upstairs to a large hallway then with another turn, in the end, there was a large sliding door which led to a room befitting for a king. “This is our room,” He said nonchalantly. Plopping on the couch to rub his temples with frustration- of what? I didn’t know. “Does it not break your heart?” “What?” “How heartless can you be? Your wife died and you have no sign of pain,” I whispered angrily, hoping to find any sign of anguish but to no avail. “I have told you, my matters are not your concern. Stop interfering, dammit,” With an infuriated growl, he walked away, leaving me alone in the room that was supposedly ‘ours’, disturbing me by his behavior. What was wrong with him? “Huff… fine,” Inspecting the enormous room with ravishing furniture, decorations more expensive than I could imagine, everything here was NOT meant for me. With my mind constantly wrapping around what must be wrong with him. What purpose did he have for this façade? Why?... Just why? But I gained no answer and falling on the bed, I remained in the room for the time being, afraid to confront his family. “Madam, dinner?” “I am not hungry,” Staying in the room, I thought about having dinner with him because roaming alone in this place sounds scary, starving, I was waiting for him to arrive. I was on the couch, hugging my knees close to my chest and at midnight he stormed inside the room with raspy breaths and reeking alcohol. “Sir…?” Rising immediately, I walked to him but stopped in the middle, not liking his state as he took a large step and hovered over me. “Oh, you,” He laughed mockingly at my face. “Are you... Drunk?” He snarled, “So? Is that a fucking problem?” “Please sit down,” Using my warmest tone, I helped him sit on the bed, giving him a glass of water while he was unbuttoning his shirt. “Fuck..” Groaning while covering his face with his hand, enhancing his features, numbing my whole being when his abs were visible as he handsomely pushed his hair behind. “Here, drink some water, Sir,” “Sir?” He paused, giving me a warning stare. My heart thumped madly against my ribcage, drying my throat in anticipation of his intentions with a desperate attempt to not stare at his desirable body. “Yes, here-” “I don’t need it,” Slapping the glass away, he hissed, causing it to shatter. Gasping, I was about to get back but he cupped my face possessively to eradicate our distances and forced me to sit on his lap. “S-Sir, wh-what are you doing?” Flinching, he held my waist with his other hand to ensure I won’t escape with a dark smirk. ‘What was wrong with him? Did he mistake me for his late wife?’ My body froze at the unforeseen contact, endeavoring to not hold his exposed body for support. “S-Sir?” Heat was creeping on my body when his glorious skin was this close to mine, blending our breaths with my fingers accidentally brushing against his hot body, surging a spark in me. “Ah, the exact face but…” Leaning to my neck, he took a long inhale, sending a shiver to my core. “Your scent,” His hand slid to my side in order to press me against him. “S-Sir?” Gripping his hanging shirt, evoking a bright blush on my face that weakened my knees when I experienced such closeness for the first time. “Your voice,” Leaving me vulnerable, he gripped my jaw so forcefully that I whimpered. Widening his contented smirk, a hysterical glimpse I never expected to find in his ruthless eyes. What was wrong with him? His husky breaths, the strong scent of alcohol and this expression, he looked… pleased. “Your behavior…” And then he dug his nail on my skin, releasing another soft voice in the form of puffing, my back arched as he hissed breathlessly. “Nothing about is like her,” I attempted to tilt my head to cease two moments of proximity with him but he forced me to maintain eye-contact, silver orbs scanning me closely. Soon, he pushed me down on the bed abruptly, punching the bedpost furiously making me crawl back in horror. “A low, unworthy girl like you can never be my Emerald!” My breaths restricted around my throat, tears glistening in my eyes but uncaring, he glared and shouted furiously. And when I struggled to move, to escape, he grabbed my ankle, pulling me down. “You are not her and you know what? You can never be her!” “Sir, please!” Inhaling sharply, he slammed his hands down, beside my face. Shutting my face, I sobbed a little, shaking violently when his exposed chest was near me, obsessively creeping on top of me. “Sir, no, don’t-” “Shh, don’t resist me.” Completely trapping me under him, he placed his knee in between, evoking sparks and uncontrollable quivers from my core. Lowering my head a tear rolled down, afraid he might not do something regrettable when he leaned down to my neck, clenching the sheets as if he was controlling himself. Brushing his lips over my neck, I didn’t dare to open my eyes in dread as this was not how I imagined my first intimacy. “And you know the worst part of it?” Trembling, when I couldn’t open my eyes, his fingers wrapped around my throat in a firm grip to force me to greet his unfathomable one. “That you…” Sitting up straight, I thought he would hit me, hurt me, express his hatred, that I was only a replacement… but none of that came. Instead, he repeated, “That you…” And everything faded. He began to chuckle, wickedly, sinfully, drawing out the fear I suppressed so far. “You are much, ‘so’ much better than her, you are exactly what I wanted, what I desired,” What the fuck was wrong with him?! “Wh-what?” “Long hairs,” With a tempting smirk, he leaned down, gripping a fistful of my hair to place our faces adjacent, maintaining the keen look that stopped my breaths. “Not that damn mole,” Scowling, he rubbed the fake mole, trying to wipe it roughly as I stared at him with unstable feelings, afraid, perturbed. “Timid eyes,” Staring at the silver eyed man who was wallowing in our vicinity, fingers moving across my skin as if he owned it, from my throat to drawing those fingers to spine in order to press our bodies in perfect collision. “Innocence,” He hummed. ‘Was he lying? Speaking senselessly? I had no idea.’ Holding the side of my neck to lift me to his level, observing me with a hauntingly beautiful hint that stunned me. Grasping his hanging shirt with one hand to not touch him carefully, I swallowed hard. “Are- are you okay, Sir?” I brought my other hand weakly, holding his wrist as his grip loosened, pressing his forehead against mine breathlessly. “I don’t want anything related to her in you, at least not before me, Liliana. You are mine, you are not her,” I trailed off worriedly, trying to remove his iron wrist from me but he refused to part his skin from mine. “I am not her anyways.” Curling his lips in an inscrutable smirk, he snuggled, immobilizing me when his hot breath formed goosebumps all over my body. Placing a brief kiss on my neck, evoking a quiver from me, he sucked on my sweet spot that made me moan involuntarily. His hands locked around my arms roughly to ensure he kissed my neck properly, according to his desire, implanting his mark on me. I was not used to intimacy yet, plus my intimidation to have such a superior man before me, desiring me, worsened everything. I couldn’t relax when he kissed my neck passionately, biting it down to ensure I would look ‘his’. With tears glistening, I tense my shoulders to show him I was not prepared but to no avail. He attained what he desired. “Of course, you are not, nor do I want you to be. You will be how ‘I’ want, Liliana,” “What…?” Upon witnessing the blazing fire, this objectionable demeanor, I could tell one thing for sure- He wanted me to submit to him… Pulling away gradually, he exhaled loudly, getting back as I stared at him staggeringly. Wondering what must be wrong with this man and he placed his wrong intentions before me transparently, revealing what he aimed to do with me. “You are going to become the woman Emerald couldn’t,”