Chapter 134

I pause my quest for red ones. “I can’t. I have work tomorrow.” As I speak the words I realize how out of character they are for me. Blaming work. Not the fact that staying here, with a stranger, is foolhardy enough to say no. I want to stay. The warm buzz, the state of euphoria that seems to accompany every moment in this man’s presence … it is a high I haven’t experienced in a long time. New love. Love that—at previous interactions—skipped along on its merry way after a few weeks. My last experience with this heady, butterflies in my tummy, elation in my heart feeling was … high school? Almost twenty years ago, when I had fresh, unwounded eyes. Before I realized the selfishness and deceit that we, as adults, hold. The ugly truths of life that pull apart love and make relationships obligation centers that carry us from year to year, life transition to life transition.